A variety of different people come into our lives to help our soul expand and evolve to our highest potential…these people are our soul mates.
There are also those special people that we choose to journey with for a life time which we call soul mates or life partners.
This card will help you to realize the aspects of what makes a soul relationship healthy, mature, compatible and loving.
Finding your soul mate or life mate is only as easy or hard, as finding your soul! As you understand your soul’s needs and desires, you will naturally attract a suitable mate.
Soul mates will be on a path that is complimentary with one another.
Their dreams, vision, spiritual beliefs and goals will be compatible. When they are dating, they will ask the other person questions to learn about their mind, heart and soul.
They will find out what they do, how they feel, what's going on in their heads, ask about their families, their work, beliefs, values, dreams, goals, etc. Soul mates would be comfortable and happy with the answer to the question; “What are the five most important things in my mate’s life?” Soul mates will take the time to get to know one another. Soul mates actually like each other - not just love and want one another. Many times people who are infatuated, or in love with love, do not even LIKE the person they've attached their ‘in love’ feelings to. Mature people don't live in a romantic fantasy.
Soul mates are comfortable with the other person’s values and beliefs, and they like the way the other person looks, feels, smells, sounds and tastes. They aren’t disgusted or embarrassed by each other’s actions or how their mate relates to others. There are no ominous feelings of dread lingering in their minds about one another.
Soul mates are equals. They don’t consider themselves better or worse than the one they love. They have equal admiration, respect and care for one another, and they respect each other’s gifts, personality and lifestyle.
Soul mates are in tune with their own soul and won’t lose their identity. They won’t try to be like the other person or try to change their partner. Soul mates will be able to see the beautiful essence within one another, along with their imperfections. They will feel safe and free to be all that they are. They feel safe together, and they will both feel supported and valued. Soul mates feel safe to open up and reveal their true self; what they think, believe and feel, and they let the other do the same. They each feel heard, understood and accepted. They share their secrets, fears, feelings and thoughts with one another without the fear of being judged. They both listen to each other with an open heart, and have a desire to understand and learn from each other. They both have a feeling of ‘being at home’ with one another. They each have the freedom and comfort to really show all their weakness with each other, and they are both willing to support each other’s growth. Soul mates do not fear change, growth or aging. They welcome change as an opportunity to achieve greater intimacy, and to grow together in life - not apart. They will still love each other even if they lost their possessions or their looks!
Soul mates spend a lot of time together because they both really enjoy it, not because they don’t like being alone. Yet they have other friends and interests, and they are both fine when they are not together. Whether they are together or apart, they experience peace and joy in their soul. True love is based upon maturity, and a balance of dependence and independence. They are able to depend upon the other when appropriate and they can also stand on their own.
Soul mates are obvious to other people. Friends and family think you are a good match! They will also like each other’s friends …they fit in with the other mate’s friends.
Soul mates feel supported in pursuing what brings them joy, and their mate can feel joy for their joy. The two of them laugh and play together, and enjoy each other’s sense of humor. In the midst of difficulties, they help each other to lighten up with humor and playfulness. Soul mates enjoy being kind to one another, rather than having their own way or being right. They well up with warmth and fullness of heart for each other and express it with affection. The sexual relationship is warm and caring, and they can talk with each other about what brings them pleasure. Sex becomes better with each year together - as trust, familiarity and fondness deepens. True love arrives after many months or years of commitment and challenges, at which the needs of the other become as important as the needs of the self.
Together, soul mates will make it in the long run because they are both committed to the idea of being a team. They see themselves stronger together, than apart. They will endure any hardships or challenges. Their love is solid even in very difficult times. They feel safe and secure with each other, and they trust one another. They each know that they can mess up, fail, disappoint and hurt the other – and the love will still be there. Soul mates have compatible ways to resolve conflict, and they both can easily let go of any anger or hurt and move quickly back into kindness and affection.
It is also valuable to know that we are attracted to and love people who we don’t particularly admire. These souls are our greatest teachers who can help our souls to grow. If you realize that your relationship or potential relationship isn’t up to par, reflect on your own characteristics and qualities first before tossing the relationship aside. Do you admire all aspects of your being? If you and your mate are dedicated to growth, and both of your strengths and weakness score equally, then the relationship has the potential to be a good fit.
A way to gain more insight into choosing your life mate is to ask these two questions.
1. If we were to have a son/daughter would I want him/her to grow to be just like my mate?
2. If we had a son/daughter would I want him/her to grow up to be just like me?
If you answered no on the first question but answered yes on the second question, he/she is probably not a healthy choice for a mate. If you answered no on the first and second question, you may have more growing to do before you are really able to have a fulfilling and expansive relationship. If you answered yes to both, you are probably ready for a healthy and loving journey together. You have chosen the soul mate card so you can take an in-depth look into what a soul mate relationship looks like. Choose with an open and wise heart!
Expectations are a natural part of living and relating.
There are two areas of expectations that affect our lives. One: When people do not meet our expectations, it provides us with the opportunity to learn from them so we can better meet the expectations of others. Two: We adjust our expectations higher or lower as we naturally mature.
1. An opportunity to meet others expectations.
Sometimes we have expectations of others to do things, or to be a certain way. But in reality, often we are also the ones who are not giving, doing, or acting a certain way. For example, are we expecting our children to come home on time, when we are the ones arriving 10-15 minutes late to pick them up from soccer practice? Or – do we want love and attention from our partner, but we are not truly loving them, or giving ourselves enough love and attention? It’s best to look in the mirror before we react with disappointment when others don’t meet our expectations. Noticing when others do not met our expectations provides us with an opportunity to notice if we are meeting the expectations or needs of others and of ourselves.
2. Adjusting our expectations.
Our expectations can be unrealistic or non-existent… or our expectations are appropriate, but we have expectations from the ‘wrong’ person or situation. (‘wrong’ is a person or the situation’s inability to meet our reasonable expectations, or the unwillingness of a person to meet them.)
When our expectations are too low (or non-existent), we may tolerate situations that most others would find intolerable. We may find we are in dull, unfulfilling jobs or relationships, or that we allow others to walk all over us. For instance, when we have low expectations, we may not even bother trying new things, or we give up on our goals and dreams easily because we don’t expectit will work out.
When our expectations are too high, we don’t tolerate anything but perfection. We create unrealistic expectations and demands, and if they aren’t fulfilled we may suddenly walk away from a job or drop a relationship. For instance, when we expect our partner to fill all our needs all the time, and they don’t, we may give up on the relationship altogether. Another example is when we expect to lose 20 pounds in a month when it took a year to put on the weight, and when it doesn’t come off fast enough, we give up healthy eating and exercise, and then we go back to expecting too little of ourselves.
When we expect too much from others and from ourselves we may use language (or we hear an inner voice) saying such things as, “I should…, you have to…, I got to..., you ought to…, I must…, why didn't you…” – all of which lead to feelings of not being good enough, which has the potential of creating feelings of inadequacy and lowering feelings of worth…which can then tilt the scale back to ‘expecting very little’.
The card Expectations came up so you can understand how your expectations are creating an opportunity for growth. See if you are filling the reasonable expectations of others, or ask yourself if your expectations need adjusting. As you grow, your expectations naturally adjust higher or lower. They will become realistic and healthy, and your expectations will appropriately match the situation or a person’s capacity. With appropriate expectations, you can create a life of joy, freedom, and true loving connections.
Our sense of worth and how we feel about ourselves mainly determines how fulfilled we feel, and how rich and gratifying our lives are.
Self-esteem and Self-worth are defined as followed.
Self-esteem is your relationship with yourself and your perception of who you are and how you are doing in the world.
High Self-esteem is:
Self-worth is your innate value as one of the creations in the universe. Your innate worth is not dependent on what you do, how well you are doing, how you feel about yourself, or how others perceive you. We are all worthy of existence. We all have our own gifts and strengths that bless the world. Without your unique presence there is a small vacant space, and that space cannot be filled by anyone but you.
A note on unworthiness - Even though our self-worth wants to be naturally felt and known, some of us feel worthless at our core. And to compensate for this feeling, we may try to prove we are useful and that we have value. We may perform the role of ‘the hard worker’, ‘the entertainer’, ‘the compliant one’… any role that proves we have worth. But all the compensating does not heal the core pain of actually feeling invaluable. Feeling worthless may be the root cause of your current situation. At the core of all problems there is an experience of separation from your soul, from oneness, from the divine and from the truth. When you recognize your connection and feel your true divine worthiness, the problem is solved. You may have drawn this card to see if there is a core feeling of unworthiness that is causing the present problem or situation. If you don’t have any feelings of unworthiness, look for ways you may be compensating which may hide the feeling from you.
You may also have drawn this card to help you reflect on how you can increase your self-esteem. Reflect on the list of things that make up high self-esteem and see any areas that can help raise it.
Increasing your self-esteem and remembering your natural born worth will increase your happiness and contentment. It will give you the desire and courage to share yourself and your gifts with the world!
Nancy Santana's passion is to empower, motivate, encourage, and inspire you to reach for your dreams and goals.